Which Party Is God's Party?

This morning, radio talk show host Bernie Ward was debating whether the Republicans could honestly consider themselves to be the party God would vote for, at the exclusion of the Democratic Party. This shouldn't be too hard to figure out -- how well do the parties follow God's party platform? Let's have a look.

1: I am the Lord thy God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the the house of bondage.

Both parties support the Knights of Columbus version of the Pledge of Allegiance, proclaiming God to rule over the United States, and the continued existence of God's title on U.S. currency. As far as bondage goes, it was the Republicans who brought blacks out of slavery in the 1860s and the Democrats who fought for black slavery at the time, but the parties changed positions on black issues from the cultural shocks of Truman's pledge for equal rights for blacks, Johnson's passing of the Civil Rights act, and Nixon's Southern Strategy. Neither party has any unique foreign-policy position on Egypt. Advantage: NEUTRAL

2: Thou shalt have no other Gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them.

The Democrats accept Buddhists, Wiccans, Atheists, and all manners of non-Judaic religions into their ranks, while Bush is on record saying that Wicca, Shinto, and Santeria are not real religions, and his father said that Atheists should have their citizenship revoked. On the other hand, the Republicans' worship of the flag and Ronald Reagan looks like a violation of the latter part of this Commandment, but that doesn't outweigh the Democrats' violation of the more basic part. Advantage: REPUBLICANS

3: Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Bush claims that God speaks to him, that God appointed him President, and that God told him to invade Iraq. The Democrats don't say anything of the sort. The answer is clear. Advantage: DEMOCRATS

4: Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days shalt thou labour and do all thy work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God. In it thou shalt not do any work, thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates.

While nobody is trying to expand the work week from its current five to a full seven days, the Republicans are pushing for more business-friendly regulations to cut overtime pay and vacation hours, while the Democrats are more likely to push for regulations allowing people to work fewer hours and have more time to relax. Still, no one is actively trying to take away workers' ability to have at least one day off a week. Advantage: NEUTRAL

5: Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.

It's hard to say that any party dishonours its forebears, so they're both doing fairly good at this one. Advantage: NEUTRAL.

6: Thou shalt not murder.

The Democrats are the more pacifist party and many of them are against the death penalty. The Republicans gave us Iraq and the Contras. Advantage: DEMOCRATS

7: Thou shalt not commit adultery.

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky." Of course, a dozen or so Republican Congressmen were outed as adulterers too, but that's a big one and there's JFK on top of that. Advantage: REPUBLICANS

8: Thou shalt not steal.

The Reagan and Bush administrations cut regulations designed to allow investigators to track business fraud and embezzlement. Now corporations are embezzling millions of dollars from the Iraq reconstruction funds, and they'll funnel part of the money right back into the Republican Party so the Republicans won't want to put a stop to it or it would hurt them. Advantage: DEMOCRATS

9: Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

Richard Nixon's smear campaigns, Ronald Reagan's nonexistent Cadillac Welfare Queens, the Whitewater investigation, the Bush campaign claiming that Al Gore didn't take the initiative in creating the Internet through his service in Congress, the Bush campaign claiming Al Gore wasn't a model for the character in Love Story, the Bush campaign claiming that John McCain committed treason and gave state secrets to North Vietnam while he was a POW, the Bush campaign claiming that John McCain fathered an illegitimate black baby out of wedlock, the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, and Sean Hannity all tilt this one heavily in favour of the Democratic Party. Advantage: DEMOCRATS

10: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

Both parties are full of greedy politicians coveting either others' power and greedy businesses coveting each others' property. There are really no good guys here. Advantage: NEUTRAL

In a final tally the Democrats win 4-2-4, but the Republicans have Charlton Heston, so let's give them an extra point for that. That makes it 4-3-4, which is really too close to call. In fact, Neutral is tied for the lead. This means that neither party is overwhelmingly the Party of God. If neither party is the party that that God would overwhelmingly support, what is a faithful, God-fearing voter to do?

LEARN WHAT THE CANDIDATES STAND FOR AND DECIDE FOR YOURSELF, DUMMY!

http://www.georgewbush.com/
http://www.johnkerry.com/

Posted by Warrior Tang at August 29, 2004 12:08 PM

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